How to handle a Cheating Partner?
How to handle a cheating partner can be difficult when you’re overwhelmed with emotions. Do you stay or do you go? Do you let it destroy your relationship or let go of your anger, forgive and rebuild your relationship? Whether you’ve uncovered the infidelity yourself or you’ve used a private investigator like Cheating Partners to check out your hunch, finding our your partner is unfaithful can be devastating. Keep reading this how-to guide to provide you with some clear strategies on how to handle a cheating partner.
1. Establish if it’s worth pursuing rebuilding your relationship
For some people who are very black and white thinkers, infidelity is the end. Cheat and there’s no do-overs. However, when you still love someone, no matter how much they hurt you, you may want to try and rebuild your relationship. The first thing you need to do is establish if your partner is worth fighting for. Ask some key questions such as
● Do you still have feelings for the other person?
● What made you go looking for someone else?
● What did they offer that I don’t?
● Did you love her? Did you love him?
● Is this a first time offence or has it happened before?
● Had you not been caught would you have continued to cheat?
● Do you want to make this relationship work?
● Would relationship counselling be something you’d be prepared to do?
2. Understand what motivated your partner to cheat
There are a number of different reasons why people cheat and it’s not always because they’re lacking intimacy in the bedroom. Reasons range from revenge and anger to self-esteem issues. You need to understand why you were cheated on before you can make logical decisions on whether it’s worth salvaging your relationship. A one-night drunken mistake is at the different end of the spectrum when compared to someone who deliberated plotted and schemed and planned romantic rendezvous. Only you know how much you’re prepared to forgive, but understanding the motivation behind the infidelity can be very telling. Did the cheating occur because of an alcohol problem or impaired decision making? Or was it payback because you’ve cheated before? Every situation is different and sometimes it may be your partner had no good reason to cheat.
3. Will your cheating spouse still be in contact with the ‘other’ man/woman?
It’s all very well to demand for your cheating spouse to cut off all communications with the other party, but what happens if they still have to work together? Do you demand he/she finds a new job? If your partner refuses to cut contact or continues to carry on conversations with the ‘other’ party, do you call things quits? Clearly, no one can force you to make decisions you don’t want to make, but these are pertinent questions.
4. Allow yourself time to grieve
Discovering your partner has cheated can be like experiencing a death in the family. You are entitled to take time out for yourself to sort through your feelings and decide whether your relationship is worth rebuilding. Don’t allow your partner to bully you into making a decision before you’re ready. Everyone grieves differently,
5. Set boundaries going forward
Trust is a huge component of healthy relationships and once it is broken, it’s often a deal breaker. However, if you’re trying to rebuild the relationship, you may need to set some mutual boundaries that you’re both comfortable with. Boundaries can include things like: No outings with the opposite sex unless you’re both invited. No confiding in other women/men about your relationship as emotional affairs can be just as dangerous as physical affairs.
6. Consider relationship counselling
Having a mediator or counsellor sit in and referee the conversation between you and your cheating partner can help prevent arguments escalating out of control. A counsellor will also be able to set you relationship exercises that you can do as a couple to strengthen your bond.
7. Hire a private investigator
If you need peace of mind that your partner is adhereing to any relationship agreements, you can hire a private investigator to follow their movements to assure you they’re no longer cheating. Don’t rely on suspicions and hunches. Get hard evidence before making false accusations that may destroy the foundation of rebuilding your relationship. You can play spy by yourself, but its exhausting trying to sneak peeks at mobile phones and emails, so our covert investigators can provide irrefutable proof.
CHEATING PARTNERS is a private surveillance investigations agency specialising in infidelity, cheating spouses, and cheating partners’. We cater to both heterosexuals as well as the gay and lesbian communities.
Contact us today for a confidential discussion on 1300 224 328 or reach out online.